Does Texting Have a Healthy Role in Relationships?

Texting can be surprisingly helpful or toxic in romantic relationships.

In the good-old days, dating was defined by a series of face-to-face encounters.  People met, they spent time in each other’s company, they got to know each others’ friends and family, and they evaluated the quality of their connection and their overall compatibility in person.  Sure, they talked on the phone or maybe sent the occasional letter, but the core of their relationship centered on face-to-face interactions. 
A subtle shift seems to be occurring in today’s dating relationships and it warrants our attention.  The technology that once supplemented relationship development is now, it seems, taking on a larger role in the relationship formation and maintenance process.  What is this role?  How healthy is a reliance on technology for the creation and sustainment ofromantic relationships? 

The Rise of Texting

For many people, texting is a major source of relationship communication.  Individuals 17-25 years of age tend to text message their romantic interests more than older individuals do (Coyne, Stockdale, Busby, Iverson, & Grant, 2011).  In one sample, over 90% reported texting to connect with their partners at least once a day (Schade, Sandberg, Bean, Busby, & Coyne, 2013). These habits may form early:teenagers (ages 13-18) report an impressively high rate of text-based communications with their boyfriends and girlfriends, with roughly 20% of dating teens texting their dating partner at least 30 times per hour in the after-school hours, the early evening, and/or the late evening (10-midnight; Teenage Research Unlimited, 2007).  For Millennials, who comprise the now- and next-generation of men and women navigating the dating game, texting is a socially-acceptable way to flirt, check-in, ask questions, gossip, make plans, or otherwise connect with potential or current romantic partners.

In addition to younger people, people in newer relationships (less than one year) also tend use technology like texting with greater frequency than people in more established relationships (Coyne et al., 2011).  Is texting simply supplementing regular face-to-face conversations?  Or, is texting strategic, having its own advantages and consequences? Understanding why people use texting is a first step to considering its role in healthy relationship development.

The Texting Advantage

Texting removes some of the barriers that make face-to-face conversations, or even phone calls, tricky to navigate.  Applying Walther’s (1996) hyperpersonal model to text messaging reveals three key advantages.  First, texting does not require spontaneous wit; texters have some time to think and carefully craft clever messages.  Second, text messages are void of nonverbal signals, allowing texters to communicate the message they wish to send without concern that unintended nonverbal signals (e.g., sweaty hands; shaky voice) are polluting their message.  Finally, text messaging is easy, but in-person conversations can be complex.  Some people find it complicated to manage the simultaneous demands of an in-person conversation (e.g., saying hello while deciding whether to hug, kiss or just shake someone’s hand, smiling, maintaining good eye contact, and not spilling one’s drink), preferring instead to text.  Texting helps those who are nervous or those who have fewer interpersonal skills avoid potentially socially-awkward encounters.  Flirting can be tremendously awkward, why not text to make it a bit easier? 

Texting not only helps the nervous and socially-awkward, it can also help the status-uncertain.  Testing the waters (“does she like me?  Is he interested?”) is much easier through an electronic medium; its casual approach helps protect individuals from rejection.  Texting can be a safe way to figure out if someone is interested.

In fact, texting usually begins very early in relationships.  Fox and Warber (2013) mapped out the typical sequence for today’s dating relationships.  First, two people meet in person and then they check out each other’s Facebook profiles and become Facebook friends.  Next, one requests the other’s phone number and they begin texting.  Texting continues and at some point one invites the other to a social events in a group setting; at this point they might engage in Facebook messaging as well.  Eventually, a phone call and/or in person date will be arranged (Fox & Warber, 2013). Texting is used early and often in dating relationships, and while it might be easier, it does have its downsides.

Frustrations with Texting

Once texting begins, it might not stop. The more texts people receive, the more they feel obligated to text back, creating a cycle of mobile relationship maintenance (Hall & Baym, 2012). This can be a healthy pattern if it creates a balanced sense of connection and dependence, but if instead individuals begin to feel an overdependence, such that the texting is preventing them from other activities (e.g., seeing each other in person; attending to other relationships; completing responsibilities), the outcome is dissatisfaction (Hall & Baym, 2012). 

Further, texting is often fraught with confusion.  Without non-verbal signals, messages can be misinterpreted or misconstrued leading to uncertainty.  (“He just texted, “Hi.” What does that mean?”)  Further, because the communication is not face-to-face, it adds a psychological distance that allows for words to be said that might be hard to say in person.  Maybe this is why texting is often used by people in newer relationships to broach difficult topics, to intentionally hurt their partners, or to apologize (Coyne et al., 2011).  The distance that texting offers may make it easier to say what one may not wish to say in person.

In fact, about a fifth of people (according to one sample; Weisskirch & Delevi, 2012), have received the dreaded break-up text.  This is despite the fact that people think this is an unacceptable and inappropriate way to break-up with people. People who receive these texts more and send these texts more tend to have greater attachment anxiety, meaning they tend to have a deep-seated fear of rejection and abandonment, and a low sense of self-worth (Weisskirch & Delevi, 2012).  While technology makes it easier to avoid having difficult face-to-face conversations, those conversations are often worth having in person, despite the discomfort they can bring.  If nothing else, they are growth opportunities and adhere better to the social expectations for how a break-up should occur.

Texting and Relationship Well-being

In the end, is it healthy to text?  Certain patterns suggest that relationship satisfaction and stability are linked to texting.  In heterosexual relationships, women who text more frequently tend to feel happier in their relationships and their partners do as well (Schade et al., 2013).  Interestingly, the more men text, the less happy they tend to be, the less happy their romantic partners tend to be, and the more their partners tend to have considered breaking-up with them (Schade et al., 2013).  These relations are a bit complex, as men who text to express affection tend to have partners who feel more attached to them. For both men and women, the more they use texting to hurt the other (e.g., making themjealousy; expressing anger) the less attached their romantic partner. 

How to be a Good Boyfriend

Figuring out how to treat your girlfriend with love and respect can be confusing at times. Find out how to be a good boyfriend and be the guy your girlfriend wishes you could be.
how to be a good boyfriend

There are a few things guys need to understand when it comes to knowing how to be a good boyfriend.

While men and women don’t really think along the same lines in a relationship, it’s rather simple to understand what it takes to keep a relationship happy.

For most men, intimacy is sexual companionship, while it’s just not the same for women.

But if you can learn to see the world through the eyes of your girlfriend, you’ll be able to understand what it really takes to be a good boyfriend.

How to be a good boyfriend

One of the easiest ways to be a great boyfriend is to understand your partner and put yourself in your partner’s shoes.

But for an easier way out, here are ten tips on how to be a good boyfriend that can help you make all the difference in your love life.

 Treat her like a lady

Boyfriends aren’t born great. They become good boyfriends by knowing how to behave with women and the girl they love.

One of the first steps in getting the admiration of a girl you like is to treat her like a lady.

Learn to be chivalrous and understand what it takes to make her feel special.

It’s easy to play nice until you get the girl, and treat her like you don’t care once the chase is over, but guys who do that will never be able to hold on to a great girl who’s desired by all guys.

 Respect her as a person

You can’t expect your girlfriend to do everything you want or behave the way you expect her to, just because she’s your girlfriend. Remember that she’s just your girlfriend, you don’t own her and shouldn’t expect her to behave like a trained monkey just because she’s likes you or you’re getting some action in bed with her.

If you want to know how to be a good boyfriend, learn to treat your girlfriend with respect and pay attention to her needs. Don’t take her words lightly or ignore her advice just because she’s a ‘girl’. If you truly do love your girlfriend, you would respect her too.

And if you can’t respect her, it’s obvious it’s not love that’s holding the relationship together.

 Remember the special days

Do you ever forget your birthday? Of course, you don’t. You never forget your birthday because it’s a really special day that comes just once a year, right?

Don’t you think your anniversary is special too, or perhaps your girlfriend’s birthday? It’s really arrogant when a guy forgets a special occasion and then says it’s no big deal. If your own special day can be important, why can’t you understand that women give equal attention to their special days too. Try to make a conscious effort to understand your girlfriend and remember the special days if she’s indeed important to you.

 Be caring and affectionate

For men, what matters is physical intimacy and sex. For women, sex is equally important, but they do appreciate a lot of affection too. Just like sex matters to men, cuddles and affection matter just as much for women. Show your affection by spending time holding hands or sitting down in each other’s arms while having a conversation.

A warm hug and a few affectionate kisses mean more in love than wild sexual escapades. And it’ll help your relationship last longer too.

 Don’t take your girlfriend for granted

One of the most important aspects of knowing how to be a good boyfriend is to avoid taking your girlfriend for granted. If she gives you a foot massage or cooks a delicious meal for you over the weekend, just don’t take your girlfriend for granted and expect the same every weekend. In a great relationship, both partners have to understand the efforts of their lover and realize that every simple gesture is a sign of love and affection that should never be taken for granted.

Never ever take your girlfriend for granted or take a special gesture for granted. Instead, always learn to be thankful and appreciative of every single affectionate gesture.

 Support your girlfriend when she’s in need

All of us need a helpful hand when we’re in need. You don’t need to be clingy and become her Man Friday who’s there to answer her every beck and call. But when your girlfriend genuinely asks you for advice or help, be there to help her out.

Your weekend games or your male bonding time may be important to you, but on a rare occasion that your girlfriend asks you for a bit of help, make sure you’re by her side. It’s always reassuring for a girl to know that she can depend on her man for a helpful hand.

 Learn to apologize

Now this isn’t just isolated to boyfriends, but since we’re going over how to be a good boyfriend, we’ll stick to the man’s side of things. It may be egoistically painful to apologize, but sometimes, it’s a generous and yet humble move when a man can apologize to his girlfriend even if he’s not the one who’s wrong.

In the heat of an argument, it’s easy to get egoistic and have tempers flying on a high, but always remember that a simple apology can end the fight and help both of you communicate better. At times, apologize to your girlfriend even if it’s not your fault for the sake of the relationship.

P.S. You can always hint to your girlfriend that you’re still right when both of you are having a laugh after a few hours. It’ll help both of you sort your differences without getting blinded by anger or ego.

 Listen to her needs

Communicate and understand her needs and wants. Try to understand your girlfriend’s feelings, and even if she ever does sulk or behave grumpily, try to understand what’s going on in her mind instead of retaliating back in anger. Sometimes, women may find it easier to sit by themselves or throw an angry fit instead of getting straight to the point. It’s one of the differences in the way men and women react to pain or anger.

Instead of getting angry over her behavior, realize that men and women are different in such cases and try to understand her mind without losing your cool. It’ll make her feel better, and you a lot more understanding over time.

 Don’t try to dominate her

Most guys have a tendency to dominate their girlfriends. It may start out subtly in little ways like watching a favorite show or telling the girlfriend to avoid speaking to a few particular friends. But eventually, the urge to control a partner grows to an uncontrollable level, especially after marriage and even more so if the man’s the sole breadwinner.

This is one of the worst ways of trying to hold a relationship together. Instead of trying to dominate, learn to communicate. You can’t cage a lover or try to manipulate them into becoming what you want them to be. Love is about the attraction between two individuals. If you try to change someone, it’s not love that’s holding both of you together, it’s your insecurity and cowardliness.

 Push your girlfriend to be a better person

If you want to know how to be a good boyfriend, this is as good as it gets. You know your girlfriend better than anybody else, flaws and all. Most guys assume a relationship is all about being happy and in love, and having a great time in bed. But that’s not where love ends.

Help your girlfriend become a better person and help her overcome her flaws. When both of you try to make each other better individuals by overcoming each other’s flaws, you can achieve more happiness and satisfaction out of life. Learn to positively criticize your girlfriend and help her with her flaws at the same time. By helping her become a better person, she’ll love you and respect you a lot more.

Always remember that knowing how to be a good boyfriend is easy, as long as you have the patience to look at the world through your girlfriend’s eyes and learn to understand her thoughts and her wants.

10 Ways To Tell A Guy You Love Him

Showing a guy how you feel about him is quite a task. Only words do not suffice. Action speaks much louder to convey your love. What actions need to be taken to let your guy know about your innermost feelings? Here are some ways for you to tell a guy how much you love him.

1. Be honest at all times

The first sign of your love for him is complete honesty. Honesty in a relationship does not mean that you throw everything on his face. It starts with a honest opinion and extends to telling it all to him without deviating from the facts. What happens if you try to hide something from your guy? Let’s face it, he will come to know of the truth sooner or later. When he comes to know about your lies, he will get hurt badly. On the other side, if you tell the truth, he will admire your sense of righteousness.

2. Argue, but the right way

Arguments are a part of every healthy relationship and God is yet to create a couple who has not fought even once in their lives. Arguing is an art and can work wonders, if used in the right way. Imagine if your partner agreed to everything you said, there would be no fun left in your relationship! What happens when both of you have difference of opinion about something? Most of the couples try to push forward their opinions simultaneously. Most of the times this results in disrespect towards each other. Instead if you have disagreement about something, why not do this- put forward your views and then let your partner put his views. This method does not result in disagreement and gives fair opportunity to both of you to put forward your opinion. Try to control your emotions and talk logically otherwise the exercise will lose its purpose.

3. Enjoy new experiences together

Experiencing new things together bring people closer to one another. When both of you try something new, you act like a team. This strengthens your bond and also helps you break free from your routine lives. Who knows, the experience might even make your partner fall deeper in love with you.

4. Compliment your partner

Complimenting is an art. A single compliment can do wonders to a person’s mood. There is a popular myth that it is only the girls who get complimented by guys. However, this is a thing of the past. Imagine how pleased your partner would be getting a compliment after a long and nasty day. Complimenting him is a way of telling him how you notice and appreciate little things about him. It tells him how much you care for him.

5. Avoid criticizing your partner

Criticisms may have a negative effect at times. Though it is claimed that criticisms help a person succeed, often it is proved otherwise. Most of the times, criticisms do nothing other than lowering a person’s self-esteem. When you criticize your partner in an unhealthy manner, you tend to attack his self-confidence and invoke negative feelings between the two of you. Constant criticism is very bad because it would ultimately result in huge cracks in your relationship. Therefore, the next time you are about to comment on his laziness or his choice of clothes, pause for a moment, think of the consequences and like a true companion, give him a positive advice. It will speak volumes about your feelings for him.

6. Plan a getaway as often as possible

Getting away from the world and enjoying in a place where both of you have nothing to worry about is one of the essentials of a good relationship. The two of you need to get away from the world occasionally, to remind each other about your love. Imagine your sweetheart’s surprise when he finds you planning a quick detour to spend quality time together. It will not only make him feel loved but would also give him the mental satisfaction that he can always count on you.

7. Go dancing

Dancing is a fun activity. It is one of the most romantic activities that a couple can do together. When a couple dances together, it brings them closer to one another. It is a lovely experience as you coordinate with each other not by words but by your movements. It is a time when both of your bodies speak to each other. Even if a partner makes a mistake, it is gracefully forgiven by the other. Dancing not only improves couple skills but it is also a whole lot of fun.

8. Stand up to him and for him

A special way to express your love for your partner is by standing up for him when the situation demands. Standing up and showing your support for your partner is an easy task. But the one task that is difficult, but at the same time shows your real love for him, is when you stand up to him and confront him on something he might have done wrong. Only someone who genuinely loves a person would tell him about the wrongs he might have done. This action would not only help you gain his love but also his confidence and respect. He will know that you are there to support as well as correct him in the journey of life.

9. Indulge in occasional ‘Guy’ things together

Guys have certain things that they love and cannot give up. Instead of blowing over his plans for the weekend, accompany him to the stadium and enjoy a ball game together. If your guy is a gaming freak, ask him to show you his collection and choose a game that the two of you can play. For any guy, a girl who can understand his ‘guy’ needs is a blessing. He will not only love you for your attitude but will also start being more comfortable with you. This is way of showing him that you love him the way he is and things don’t have to be only your way.

10. Let actions speak

For ages, girls have tried to express their feelings for their sweetheart with the help of words. However, many of the guys do not appreciate mere the use of fancy words. Instead, they believe in seeing them being implemented as actions in the relationship. For a guy, nothing can be better than having his lady give an occasional kiss, run into his arms and hold his hand. A girl’s touch tends to melt a guy’s heart, who pretends to be very strong externally but crave for love from within.

A guy always tries his best to fulfill the needs of his lady love, especially the emotional ones. In return, guys don’t ask for much but true love. When you meet your partner’s basic needs and are always there for him, he would love you more.

30 Ways To Be A More Generous Partner

Successful, happy relationships are filled with generosity.

Often overlooked, being selflessly kind, is incredibly crucial in relationships. In fact, it's one of the top three indicators of a happy marriage, along with sexual satisfaction and commitment. According to a study by the University of Virginia's National Marriage Project, couples who reported a high amount of generosity in their relationship were five times more likely to say their marriage was "very happy."

And luckily, whether you're married or in a relationship, being mindful can be effortless — it just takes small gestures.

See 30 super simple ways to be more generous below.

1. Give your significant other a genuine compliment. Without expecting one in return.

2. Surprise your partner with their favorite meal. Even when you were really craving sushi.

3. Make him or her coffee in the morning. You may have to get up a little earlier, but making their morning will be worth it.

4. Wake your sweetheart up with a massage. Is there a better way to rise and shine?

5. Hold his or her hand. In public and on the couch at home.

6. Hand over the remote. As hard as it may seem at the time, remember it's just television. It's not worth the argument.

7. Leave a handwritten note in their pocket. Even one that simply says "I love you" shows how important they are to you.

8. Pick up their favorite snack on the way home. It's a small gesture, but one that shows you were thinking of significant other.

9. Tell him or her how sexy they are. Who doesn't want to hear that? Keeping things flirty and reminding your partner you're attracted to them goes a long way.

10. Let it go. The dishes, the clothes on the floor, the milk he forgot at the store. Forget the little things.

11. Get your partner to crack a smile after a long day. It'll make them forget whatever they were stressed about.

12. Let him or her have the last bite.

13. Make reservations at their favorite restaurant on your next date night. 

14. Share. Whether it's some of your Ben & Jerry's or your blanket, remind them what's yours is theirs.

15. Make a list of things you love about your partner. And share it with them. They'll feel loved and appreciated.

16. Listen. Without interruptions. It shows you care and will help you communicate better. Even when you're arguing, it's important for them to know they can express themselves and they'll be respected.

17. Cooperate. Think things through before making impulsive decisions or jumping to conclusions.

18. Cheer him up. Even when you're having a bad day.

19. Say "Thank you". For the little things and the bigger ones.

20. Do a small task for your partner. Whether it's taking their clothes to the cleaner's or washing their car, helping them out when they're busy lets them know you're a team.

21. Breakfast in bed. Who wouldn't appreciate that? Can't go wrong.

22. Make reservations at the vegan or BBQ restaurant they've been dying to try.

23. Put yourself in their shoes. Thinking about how your partner feels, whether you're in an argument or not, will help you understand them better.

24. Surprise your partner with their favorite dessert.  Brownies, cronuts, Skittles, whatever it may be, Treat your love with treats.

25. Show your support their goals. Your support means everything to your significant other. Remind them you're rooting for them.

26. Send your partner a loving text before a presentation or tough day. Remind them you're their biggest fan.

27. Start a sentence with "I love when you ... " Expressing admiration for your partner shows how much you value who they are.

28. Give a small gift. For no occasion.

29. Forgive. For that one thing you were still holding against them.

30. Kiss your partner goodbye. Each and every time.

Five Skills that Predict Success in Marriage Relationships

Thanks to advances in research methodology and neuroscience, relationships are now a science. The science of love relationships has identified several specific behavior patterns of partners that succeed in creating healthy, mutually enriching couple relationships. Partners who think and act in certain ways nearly guarantee themselves love relationships in which they feel fulfilled, loved and appreciated.

First, the good news is both you and your partner are wired for love, your body’s health depends on it.

Second, you are wired to release a certain love hormone, Oxytocin, the chemical known as the “cuddle hormone,”  in response to certain behaviors.

Feeling loved and secure has everything to do with knowing how to create an Oxytocin response that makes you and your partner feel loved and secure.

What about couples that don’t currently have Oxytocin response patterns in place?

“No, problem,” says neuroscience. Because of the brain’s neural “plasticity,” a lifelong ability to grow and develop new neural circuitry, partners can learn to rewire their own and their partner’s love patterns, even late in life.

In perhaps one of the most thorough books this decade on the subject of healing marriage relationships, Emotional Intelligence in Couples Therapy, Dr. Brent J. Atkinson presents a tour of some of the most revolutionary findings from neuroscience and the science of intimate relationships, such as the work of Dr. Antonio Damasio on emotion and behavior, and the groundbreaking work of Dr. John Gottman on “Why Marriages Succeed or Fail.”

According to Dr. Atkinson, there are five “prerequisite” groups of skills that predict relationship success. Each group involves a set of skills. The five skill sets are as follows:

1. Partners use a ‘soft start-up’ to bring up an issue.

A ‘soft startup’ refers to how partners communicate, verbally and nonverbally, when they bring up issues, share a frustration, or express dissatisfaction. In contrast to a ‘harsh’ startup, a ‘soft’ startup is an approach that is firm yet tactful and gentle, and avoids attacking the other’s character.

A soft-startup allows partners to express any dislikes or upsets without defensive strategies that blame or attack the other’s character or the relationship, and that are more likely to trigger both partners’ survival strategies. Partners do not sugarcoat or beat around the bush, but they also do not talk down, or make condescending or judgmental comments.

Examples of a ‘soft’ and ‘harsh” startup are:

Soft startup: “I’m really upset that you forget our anniversary.”

Harsh startup: “How can you be so insensitive to not even get me a card?”

2. Partners are open to their partner’s influence.

In addition to delivering complaints tactfully, successful partners have the ability to respond to their partner’s requests, criticism or upsets without getting defensive. A top predictor of marital success, according to Dr. Gottman’s research, is the husband’s willingness to accept influence. Culturally speaking, male partners are less willing than female partners to accept influence of the other. Still today, many men are raised to not accept influence of their partners, as proof of “masculinity.”

The facts speak for themselves, however. Remarkably, findings show a husband’s willingness to accept influence alone predicts marital success 80% of the time.

3. Partners know how to make “repairs” after an upset.

Even after a “failed” argument, however, where partners defensiveness and reactivity were triggered, successful partners know how to make effective repairs by offering assurance. This refocuses partners’ emotional and mental energies, and restores belief in one another and their relationship. In effect, assurance works much like a refresh button on the computer. To relationships it offers a refreshing, and often critical, infusion of hope. An example of a statement that makes an effective repair is:

“We got worked up on this, and I said things I didn’t mean. I’m sorry. I’d like to start over fresh. I know we can do better. And I’m willing to work harder on this. Would you be willing to work together?”

4. Partners honor one another’s dreams and aspirations.

Successful partners are genuinely supportive of one another’s dreams and aspirations.  Human beings are wired with inner emotional drives to matter, to feel valued in relation to the other. Along with these drives, partners also enter their relationships with conflicting expectations for how these inner strivings “should” be met. This conflict is natural, even healthy. It’s all about “how” partners attempt to restore their sense of safety and love. When resolved in healthy ways, conflict is nature’s plan to help strengthen intimacy, an opportunity to better understand themselves and the other. When partners resist one another’s requests for change, it is often because they either do not feel recognized as an individual, or they feel their partner is not fully committed to the relationship. A partner who is repeatedly late or forgets anniversaries, for example,, may be indirectly expressing anger for issues that are avoided or left unresolved.

Successful partners feel valued and are not dependent on the other to make them feel valued. Their shared vision and personal goals helps them look beneath the circumstances, identify the unfulfilled expectations, and move past challenging situations more quickly and easily.

5. Partners observe a 5 to 1 ratio of positivity.

Last but not least, another key to lasting couple relationships has to do with what happens in the span of time between conflict and upsets. Interestingly, research shows that, while successful partners also have conflicts, they make time for something that distressed partners do not. They regularly interact in positive ways; for example, they express their appreciation, plan fun outings together, share affection, flirt, and so on. Research by Dr. Gottman has identified a formula. According to his findings, successful partners seem to adhere to a ratio of five to one positive to negative interactions.

In sum, studies suggest that partners have more influence in how their partners treat them that they think. As with work environments, attitude is everything in relationship building. The attitude that predicts failure is a quid pro quo attitude that proclaims, “I’ll change my behaviors if he or she changes theirs.”  In contrast, the attitude that predicts success declares, “I think and act like a partner who treats my self and partner with dignity, regardless the situation — during and between conflict!” In other words, partners who succeed do not approach their relationship as a competition. Instead, they not only treat their partner with the thoughtfulness they desire in return – they also think and act like persons who feel confident enough to deal with issues. In other words, the ability to not take things personally.

Individuals who want their partner to treat them better are willing to get out of their comfort zones and try new behaviors.

Practicing certain behaviors or thinking patterns, albeit new and uncomfortable, works. The effort creates new neurons and other neurons to “fire and wire” together in “new” ways, and when they do repeatedly, the new patterns are strengthen and reinforce new electrochemical pathways. And, when partners let go of old limiting patterns, their brains eliminate or “prune” the problem-causing neural pathways. That’s more good news.

Whether it’s with soft startups, allowing influence, offering assurance, honoring one another’s dreams or maintaining a 5-to-1 ratio of positivity, you and your partner can discover how to consistently respond in ways that release Oxytocin response, and the result?

You are more likely to amp up your sense of love, security and closeness with one another by the natural release of this love and safety chemical. That’s the best news.